The streets are filling up with the undead; you need to get out of town safely and efficiently, possibly driving through, over, and around bodies and debris. What wheels do you choose? Whether you’re a survivalist or the burn rubber type, we have a vehicle for you. The challenges of fuel and supplies aside, these wild rides should all get you where you need to go if and when the zombie apocalypse finally comes to fruition.
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Plowing through a heard of zombies in your Prius might not be a wise choice. For the true survivalist looking to get out of the city with minimal casualties, the military-inspired Knight XV by Conquest is probably your safest choice. This fully-armored, bio-diesel-powered SUV looks tough on the outside but offers comfort and convenience on the inside. You’ll be the savior of your friends and family when you pack ’em in — there’s room for 6.
Fast and Loud
When your personal survival trumps saving the environment, that’s the perfect time for the American muscle car to shine. Get your hands on a classic steel steed — something with ample horsepower to get you moving fast, and a throaty sound to shake those slack-jawed sleepwalkers out of their shoes. Whether you’re a Dodge Charger fan, or you prefer a classic Camaro, a late ’60s body style of either of these monster machines will offer ample legroom plus plenty of trunk space for stashing supplies.
Though we never encountered zombies on our family road trips, my parents’ beloved van served us well. The open interior of a classic style like the Ford E-Class Series van serves a dual purpose, providing plenty of room for packing in survival gear, plus it’s a convenient place to catch a few ZZZs. While the standard model might not impress you with fancy bells and whistles, a van definitely has what it takes to keep you moving comfortably.
Hard Core Luxury Zombie Apocalypse Cars
Zombies can’t possibly appreciate the finer things in life, because they’re dead. But if you’re still breathing, why not enjoy conveniences like seat warmers and iPod integration for as long as you can? Plus, high-tech features like power folding windows and rearview cameras will make maneuvering through the zombie masses much easier. If you’re wondering if the fancy all-wheel drive Mercedes G-Class SUV is really as rugged as it looks, consider that the manufacturer says it was “created to endure the most grueling challenges on six continents.” What’s more challenging than driving over a mountain of the undead? The grill alone screams zombie plow.
Compact and Practical
Popular mechanics included the Subaru Impreza WRX Hatchback on their list of “10 Best Vehicles for the End of the World.” Between its rally-car handling and all-wheel drive abilities, this speedy little number is a good choice for maneuvering around a zombie herd with minimal hassle. Plus, it’ll get you 36 miles to the gallon on an open stretch of highway, so stopping to re-fuel won’t be a frequent frustration.
Live the High Life
There is a good chance I won’t be driving a brand new Lamborghini Reventon off the lot in this lifetime. The $1.6 million price tag just isn’t in the budget right now. So when the end of the world comes, why not head down to your local luxury car dealer, handle the undead used car sales man with the required polite force, and hit 60 MPH in 3.3 seconds? Plus, with a top speed of 214 miles per hour, there’s a good chance those meandering brain-munchers won’t be catching up any time soon.
Once you’ve chosen your getaway car, remember there are essential safe-driving tactics you’ll need to use. The skills you’ll gain by taking a defensive driving course could make you adept at handling inclement weather, unpredictable pedestrians, or cluttered roads — all essential for staying alive when battling the undead.